Is it legal to keep my baby's father from holding her?

Starting when I was pregnant with my second child up until 5 months after she was born, I, a child from a previous relationship, and my youngest daughter endured physical and verbal abuse, most of it verbal. We aren't legally separated but are living in different homes. He's joined the military and to keep his MOS for some reason we have to wait until he's done with basic and AIT to get a divorce or go through with custody hearings. He has a number of documents I need- all of our social security cards, my ID, our birth certificates- and won't give them to me unless I let him see the baby. He can't legally withhold them and I've been told I don't even have to let him see her until court but I'd like to. But legally, if he is there, can I not allow him to hold her? Before we moved out of our house there was an ordeal where he restrained me and would not allow me to leave, and then held her until police showed up and then he got scared and handed her back before they got out of the car. I don't think I would have her now if I hadn't been the one holding her when police arrived.