Why is it okay for Reed Richards (Fantastic Four) to be mean and not Hank Pym?

I basically have a problem with Richards. See when Hank gave a strong back hand to his wife, I'm not saying it was all right for him to do so, but I do accept that he was emotionally off his rocker at the time. The problem is he still gets crap for it. My problem is Reed has smacked Susan a few times, turned off his own son's mind, and I've seen him make a lot of comments on how a wife should just do what she's told. Why is it okay for Reed to basically run Susan's life, but Hank smacks Janet once, and he's the worst person ever?